Vanakam

Vanakam
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Conversation with Pravan

Okay my husband spent Saturday with Pravan. They had a date and got ice- cream and did some fun stuff. Well said " Daddy I have a secret to tell you ... Sometimes I like you better than mommy and sometimes I mommy better. Today I like you better ! " Hubby smiled and was happy. When he got home he told me this. I think it is okay that he feels this way. When I tucked him into bed he told me the same secret. I told him that I love him and it was okay to feel that way. Then he said "I do not like you when I remember the bad things you did to me " "What bad things ?" I asked " Like when you yell, not let me watch TV, not eat candy and make me pick up toys." "Okay " I said nodding my head "Oh wait, also when you spank me, embarrass me and hurt my feelings by saying mean things " he added. " I am so sorry for hurting your feelings. Do you forgive me ? " I asked Yes , but I wrote it all down and I have a very good memory. " He said "Where did you write it down ? " " In my mind silly mommy " "okay " I said shocked by what he was saying. " I have also things about you written in my head" I added "Like what mommy ?" " I love when you pick up your toys without me asking, I love when you tell me you appreciate me and love me , I love when you wave to me from the bus. I love that you talk to me and love to snuggle .... " I was then interrupted and he said " I also have a good list for you. I have a bad list and a good list " Somehow my six year old has a balance sheet for his mom. "I have a bad list too " I said " Oh you do, I bet it is so long that you cannot tell me everything on it as I will fall asleep " Pravan giggled " No, honey do you know my bad list is empty" I explained " It is ? Why ? I do bad things and make you mad so your list should be overfilled." he said confused " Well I forgave you for all the things you have done because I love you and I try to focus on the good you do " " Okay but I am not sure if I can erase my bad list, I forgive you but I have a very very good memory so I cannot forget . I'm sorry " He said "It is okay I hope you know that I do my best to raise you and teach you right from wrong and sometimes you will not like my rules but it is for your own good and you will understand when you have your own kids " As a mom myself now I finally appreciate all that my mom did for me. I did not like everything she did or how she did it. Now I know why ? This was a great conversation and his maturity level blows me away and it is hard to remember that he is only six. I hear so often from other moms that they never know what happens in their kids lives. So please take the time to ask questions and be involved. I can only hope that my daughter will be a talker too. I do not always do things right and lately I am learning. I am learning so much more about motherhood. The trial and errors continue and I have chosen to grow along with my kids and as much as it is a very trying, emotionally painful road we will see the bigger picture and I will feel blessed and know my job was well done when they are both grown up and can be where I am today. When they can finally appreciate everything I have done and sacrificed that will make me successful in the most difficult, juggling act there ever could be and that is TO BE A MOM !!!!!!!! Tap yourself on the back and know that you too are doing a wonderful job and building the future of the world one child at a time.

3 comments:

Melissa S said...

I must say that was a wonderful conversation...and I like how you said there wasn't anything on the bad list...and that you started off with all the things you like about him instead of the negative. I would never have been so smooth. You don't give yourself enough credit at times..I think you are raising them beautifully..

BearFamily said...

Hi, Oh I didn't know you where from South Africa, thought you where from India ?? I live in the Netherlands, we speak Dutch, that looks a little simular like South African. We can understand it a little, but the Dutch always say that South African language looks a little like when Dutch children started to talk, hehe, fun language to us !!

Nichole said...

I am humbled and floored with the way you handled that conversation. It was so wonderful. You have so much love for your children and it comes out in all you do, your posts, your pictures, your honesty. Your understanding is something to be admired and envied. He is a smart and wonderful little boy.