Vanakam

Vanakam
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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Trials of motherhood

Can I pause motherhood ? Maybe not. It is time to fast forward my education and educate myself in different areas. How did my mother deal with all of this when I was growing up. She did not read books about it or talk to the doctor. Here is what happened yesterday. Pravan confided in dad about soemthing very disturbing. I am embarassed to say this but here goes. He has visions in his head of his friends naked. He was so upset and crying. I was all freaked out and had no idea how to handle this. He sees dad and I naked all the time. Well not us together but at different times when we get into the shower etc. He also takes a bath with Priyasha and sees her naked. Okay this morning after dragging myself to the gym for body sculpting class and a good workout on the elptical machine I called the peaditrician. He re-assure me that kids at this age are curious and it was normal. I am still not sure and afraid that he might be gay when he gets older. That is my biggest fear not that being gay is wrong or anything. When he was born I vowed that he would be the most romantic guy int he world and so far I have had to do very littel and he is so compaddionate andthoughtful all on his own. The doctor told me that he should not see either one of us naked or take baths with his sister anymore. Okay so you would think I would forget about this and move on. No! I am obsessive. I called the school and talked with the principal about the kids getting hit and picked on on the playground. Pravan has mentioned that a few kids have cried because they were punched. He told him that if it was brought to the teachers attention then it was dealt with and the kids lost recess or suspended. i felt better and then discussed Pravan's confession. He immediately refered me to the counselor. She called me and we chatted a little. She recommended that I did not bring the topic up again and that it should get better after we do what the paeditrician recommended as well. The I talked with her some more and told her the story about the collider. ( read about it in an older post ). I also told her that he can recite the presidents in order and is a math whiz and can do any math problem.. This kid had no problems with his math homework and all. When mom is still counting and he knows the answer that can mean only two things. either mom is stupid, old and slow or the kid is a genius. Well I am going with he is a genius. The counselor suggested that he get tested for the gifted and talented program. I am thrilled about that and not sure how that will work out. It won't happen until later in the year. So I am feelign challenged with motherhood. Al of this has created a lot thoughts in my head. I told my husband that I was not ready for all of this. He reminded me that it only gets worse and the problems get more serious. How do all you moms do it. I am scared and nervous. What happened to being stressed about him giving up the boob, bottle and learning to walk. That seems hard but now seems like a piece of cake compared to this. Well deep breath. I am going to use resources around me, do the best I know how and hope that he will be a wonderful man when he grows up.Thanks for reading.

1 comment:

Tracey said...

Well to be honest I think the whole of motherhood is one long trial to be honest, but you are doing a great job, you are in tune with your children and sensistive to their needs, you are supportive and kind, in short a fantastic mom, I am sure there is nothing at all to worry about but heck, that is what we all do best - worry !!!! lol,sending you my best, take care XXX